Helping Your Child Through Big Feelings
- BloomBHC
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
Anyone who has ever been around a child knows that they tend to have very big, ever-changing feelings. Emotions are a part of life for all of us, but for children with autism those feelings can feel amplified and more intense than they do for others. That intensity can quickly become overwhelming, especially when they don’t quite understand why they are feeling that way. Overwhelm can lead to meltdowns and challenging moments for both the child and their family or caregiver.
It can feel daunting in the moment, especially when a parent is unsure how to calm their child down. Fortunately, there are ways to better navigate those feelings. Emotional regulation is a big component of ABA therapy, and one of the many skills we work on. With consistency, those skills can develop over time to make handling emotions more manageable.
Look Beyond The Feelings
Strong, overwhelming emotions tend to lead to strong, overwhelming responses. Oftentimes, what some might consider poor behavior is actually a child communicating something. Big feelings can be triggered by many things, including changes in routine, sensory overload, frustration, hunger, fatigue, and more. In the moment, the sudden behavior shift can feel like it popped up out of nowhere, but usually it’s been building up over time under the surface. Instead of immediately moving to correct the behavior, pause to reflect on what your child may be trying to communicate so you can provide the support they need.
First Regulation, Then Reasoning
When emotions are high, there’s not a lot of room for reason. That’s not to say that the behavior shouldn’t be addressed at all - just not in the same moment. While your child is feeling overwhelmed and upset, they are not going to be as receptive to discussions about their behavior. What they need right then is patience, support, and a feeling of safety. Assess the situation, pivot to support mode, and prioritize regulation. Later, once they are feeling more at ease, conversations and learning opportunities will be a lot easier to digest.
Calm-Down Cheat Sheet
Handling an unexpected meltdown can be anxiety-inducing for all involved, but there are ways to lower the risk of one taking place. Understanding your child’s needs, preparing in advance, and working with your child to understand their emotions can make a huge difference.
There is an endless list of ways people choose to calm themselves down. Some may prefer quiet, some like to blast music. Some people may want to move their body, some may wrap up in a soft blanket. It can take time to figure out what works for your child, but once they recognize the tools that work for them you can build a plan of action for overwhelming moments. A calm-down cheat sheet of ideas to try includes:
Breathing Exercises
Sensory Tools (Fidgets, weighted blanket, etc.)
Finding a quiet space
Taking a walk or moving their body
Listening to calming music
Reading a favorite book
Coloring
Doing a puzzle
Identifying Feelings
Work with your child to help them identify their emotions. It can be difficult for children to understand what they are feeling, especially in a moment of heightened anxiety, but having a better understanding of how to name those feelings can make working through it easier. Feelings charts or flash cards can help your child gradually learn about different emotions. Feel free to go beyond just happy, sad, mad and include a full range of emotions like disappointed, scared, confused, frustrated, nervous, worried, overwhelmed, and so on.
Teach Through Example
Explanations and visual aids are important steps, but a lot can be learned simply by watching the people around us. Emotions of all kinds are normal and part of the human experience. It’s not only okay to experience them in front of your child, it’s a good thing. When those moments come, consider walking them through your process. For example, “I’m very frustrated right now, so I’m going to take three big deep breaths.” When children see parents experience emotions, it can provide a front row seat to a lesson on healthy processing.
Learn As You Grow
Understanding and managing emotions can take time, but every step of the way brings more progress. These small victories may look like asking for help instead of shutting down, incorporating their own coping strategy, or recovering more quickly from an overwhelming moment. Every positive step is part of building confidence over time and should be celebrated.
Emotional Regulation with Bloom Behavioral Healthcare
With the right tools, your child can build the skills needed to better understand their emotions, communicate what they need, and move more confidently through challenging moments. At Bloom Behavioral Healthcare, we work with your family to create an individualized plan tailored to your child’s specific strengths and needs. Using ABA therapy, we help your child develop tools to work toward better emotional regulation, communication, confidence, and independence.
Contact us today to learn more. We’d be happy to help support your family!
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