Spotting Your Child’s Strengths

As a parent or caregiver of a child with autism, your default state may be that of a problem-solver. Time is spent advocating for your child, juggling appointments, school, therapy sessions, and everything else life throws your way. With a packed schedule and a list of goals, it’s common to find that you become so focused on what you’re working toward that the positive aspects are inadvertently overlooked. 

Every single child has their own set of strengths amidst their challenges. With so much time working toward overcoming those challenges, it’s easy for your child’s strengths to fade into the background. When you take the time to recognize their strengths, it helps you understand them better as an individual while also boosting their confidence in themselves. 

Break Free From Tradition

A common stressor for any parent are the developmental milestones that children are traditionally expected to meet. As children grow and develop, it’s common and natural to start to compare them to other children in their age group. Comparison against others is nearly never helpful, though. Children with autism have a brain that experiences things differently, meaning their strengths may not match neatly against others when comparing. Maybe your child has an impeccable memory, impressive pattern recognition, or an extensive knowledge of their favorite animal. Perhaps they give amazing high fives, always color inside the lines, or keep an organized room. The point is, there is no rulebook when it comes to what is considered a strength. They aren’t always academic, social, or any one thing. They can show up in many different ways. 

Pay Attention To Your Child's Happiness

One tried and true way to discover a child’s strengths is to pay attention to the things that they are naturally drawn to. Consider what topics they like to talk about, the times they feel calm or confident, and their favorite activities. People tend to gravitate toward activities that align with their natural abilities or interests. Watching them in their element can shine a light on strengths you may not have even noticed before. And joining them in their happy place can become a great way to connect and grow together. 

Strengths Come In All Sizes

Strengths don’t have to include memorizing the Declaration of Independence or painting a masterpiece. Strengths come in all shapes and sizes. They can come naturally or develop over time, sometimes so gradually they are hard to catch. This may look like a child asking for help before getting frustrated, trying a new food, sharing with a friend - any tiny step forward toward reaching their goals. While small, these little victories show strength in resilience, perseverance, confidence, and more. They are a sign that their skills are continuing to grow. 

Strength Doesn’t Require Accomplishment

There are many strengths that come through via accomplishment. This may be an outstanding report card, beating a level at a game, or learning a song on an instrument. But so many of your child’s greatest strengths simply lie in who they are as a person. These qualities and strengths deserve to be celebrated just as much as those we can measure. Take note and celebrate your child’s curiosity, sense of humor, imagination, compassion - any part of who they are day to day. Being seen and appreciated for who they are is one of the greatest gifts they can be given. 

Helping Your Child See Their Own Strengths

As you’re learning your child’s strengths, help them see them, too. Children absorb information from those around them, molding their own perception of self on those observations. You can help shape a healthy, positive self-image by regularly pointing out their strengths. Replace “good job” with specific and relevant comments. Some examples include:

• “You’re being so thoughtful!”

• “I love that you didn’t give up.”

• “Wow! You taught me something new.”

• “You worked really hard to solve that problem.”

Those comments do more than make them happy in the moment, they help them recognize positive qualities about themselves that will stay with them. 

Growth As They Are 

While navigating autism, a lot of time is spent supporting your child’s challenges. While support is typically geared toward building a skill or changing a behavior, that doesn’t mean changing their personality or who they are as a person. The goal is to help your child build skills that make it easier for their unique strengths to take the stage. When they feel accepted as who they are, that confidence often makes them more willing to try new things or communicate their needs. 

To continue to build their confidence, their current strengths and interests can guide the way. Build on what they already enjoy, incorporating problem-solving and skill development in a way your child will engage in and feel comfortable with. For example, a child obsessed with animals might enjoy a quiet morning at the zoo. Not only will they see several animals, they’ll also be learning new facts, practicing patience, and sharing space with others. 

How We Can Help Build Your Child’s Strengths 

At Bloom Behavioral Healthcare, we want every child to feel seen for who they are, not just for the challenges they are working to overcome. We believe that meaningful progress can only begin after recognizing each individual child’s unique strengths, interests, and personality along with their challenges. Through compassionate ABA therapy, we work with your child to build communication, emotional regulation, socialization, and daily living skills while still respecting who they are. The goal is to help your child grow by meeting them where they are and walking beside them to build their strengths and grow with confidence. 

If you would like to learn more about how Bloom Behavioral Healthcare can support your child’s development, we’d love to chat! We’d be happy to answer any questions or schedule a consultation to help your family take the next step.