How Love and Connection Look Different for Autistic Children

February is the month of love! With Valentine’s day comes hearts, chocolates, and an influx of affection - the things traditionally associated with love and connection. These things follow a stereotype that is perpetuated through media and pop culture, but it doesn’t show the entire picture. Love can actually show up in many different ways, without changing the meaning one bit.

Children with autism may express affection and connection in ways that differ from what some may consider traditional methods such as hugging or saying words like “I love you.” That doesn’t mean that they don’t feel that love, it just means they communicate in their own way. 

Autism, Affection, and ABA Therapy

Autistic children feel just as deeply as anyone else, but since they experience the world differently, the way they express themselves may differ as well. These differences often stem from a combination of sensory, social, and communication elements. 

• Sensory Issues: Sensory processing differences may make it difficult for children with autism to engage in behaviors that make them feel overstimulated or overwhelmed. By choosing to avoid a hug, they aren’t rejecting you, they are simply keeping themselves regulated through feelings of safety. 

• Social Expression: Autistic children don’t always recognize social signals or understand social cues that may feel automatic to others. It’s more likely they will show their feelings in a way that comes more naturally to them, rooted by a feeling of trust between them and the other person. This may look like sharing something they care about, wanting to be close, or seeking comfort from someone. 

• Communication Differences: Children with autism sometimes communicate in their own way, often relying on nonverbal methods. In this case, affection may be shown through gestures, actions, physical proximity, or with visual aides such as pictures or symbols.

• Emotional Energy: A lot of energy can be used when children feel the need to “mask,” or conform to social norms, throughout their day in school or other social settings. Once they are home and feel safe, their exhaustion may take over and lead to a less expressive temperament. 

Love is a beautiful emotion, one felt in numerous ways - none of them wrong! Understanding your child’s communication styles will help you also understand the way they feel. ABA therapy can support children by developing and enhancing communication skills in a way that is most natural to them. Instead of trying to force a child to fit into society’s perceived standards, we work toward building skills that empower your child to express themselves confidently, comfortably - and on their own terms. 

ABA Therapy with Bloom Behavioral Healthcare

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is on the mind. This is a great time to broaden the conversation about what love looks like. Love isn’t always hearts, hugs, and kisses. Sometimes love looks like patience, like trust, like quiet companionship. It looks like empowering your child to thrive within their own parameters, and ABA therapy can help do just that. 

Bloom Behavioral Healthcare can help support your family while building goals for your child that improve communication, social skills, confidence, and more, all while staying true to who they are. If you’re interested in learning more about how Bloom can help your family, contact us today.

In the meantime, we want to wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day, filled with all the love in the world, in all the ways it shows up.