Autism Interests: Let Them Love What They Love

Children are fantastic at embracing their unique interests and quirks. They often develop interests that adults don’t share or even understand. Children with autism in particular may develop intense, long-lasting interests that puzzle the people around them. Maybe they are stuck on dinosaurs, black holes, tornadoes, the Battle of Gettysburg, or a show most kids gave up on 5 years ago. Sometimes parents may start to question the interest, even growing concerned. 

Should they have moved on by now? 

Should I put an end to this?

What if people think it’s weird?

Worrying about your child is normal, but here’s the thing. There’s no actual rulebook for what a child should like, when they should like it, or how much they should like it. If your child gets joy from their interest, and it isn’t hurting anyone, why the rush? 

Interests Can Be More Than Just Hobbies

If your child has their own special interest, there’s a good chance that it’s doing more for them than simply entertaining them. Finding joy and engaging in something repeatedly can provide comfort, familiarity, and regulation. Throughout an unpredictable day-to-day, their interest is something predictable and safe. The dinosaurs never change, the show follows the script every time, the tiny cars feel the same in their hand every time. Beyond that, they may collect an impressive amount of knowledge about their interest or use it to foster connection. 

And sometimes, they are just a fun hobby. Not every interest is directly related to autism. Sometimes, a child connects with an item, a story, an experience simply because it caught their eye and held their interest. 

Stop Measuring By Age

When it comes to children, things are often rated based on their appropriateness for certain age groups. This applies across the board, from toys to movies and shows. This is very helpful when it comes to determining safety, but should have nothing to do with ongoing interest. Once a child reaches a certain age, societal opinions seep in, trying to dictate what is considered appropriate or “normal.” Adults and peers may make comments indicating a child should stop liking certain characters, toys, or entertainment because they are “too old” for it. Ultimately, that’s not up to anyone else to decide. 

The question to ask yourself:  Is this interest causing my child harm or am I just worried about what other people may think?  That distinction is important. 

Invite Yourself Into Their World

If your child has a specific interest, that’s a part of their world. Taking an interest in what they love is one way to take an interest in who they are. Ask them questions, watch, and listen as they show you what they love about it. Learn about their interest alongside them, even if you don’t find it quite as fascinating as they do. Allow them to explore their interest without judgment, providing encouragement when others try to make them question themselves. It’s easy to forget what others may be thinking when you get to see your child light up as they engage in something they truly care about.

Use Interests As A Bridge - With Caution

Special interests can sometimes be used as a helpful tool linked to skill building. They can help with learning, social connection, motivation, communication, and more. Their interest can be incorporated subtly into educational activities, therapy tools, or reward systems. By integrating an established interest, it can make skill building feel more natural and engaging. Sometimes, though, an interest can be kept completely separate. Things that bring people joy can exist for that reason alone, without being tied to a challenge or obligation. If it works well for your child, that’s great! If it reduces the happiness of that interest, try something else instead. 

Seek Out Their People

When possible, help your child find their people. Look for classes or groups in your area that revolve around the interest, including the local library or community programs. Join local parenting Facebook groups to seek out parents who have children with the same interests. (Bloom’s upcoming Fall Meet & Greet is a great opportunity to connect with other local families of neurodivergent children!) Shared interests can bring natural conversation and connection, even if that’s just sitting in the same room as someone who likes what they like.

Get creative with your pursuit! It may be easier to find a local community event centered around animals or dinosaurs, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t opportunities for those whose interests skew to the more unique side. If your child loves rocks and gemstones, reach out to a local store owner and ask if they’d consider a one-on-one show and tell for your child, contact a museum for sensory-friendly hours, or find a vacuum salesman willing to do a private demonstration. You can even create your own opportunities! Create your own local event based around the interest where you’re in control of the content, atmosphere, and guest list. Chances are, there are others with the same interest - or a healthy dose of curiosity - that will join if invited! 

Teach Context Without Teaching Shame

While we can embrace and encourage a child’s special interests whole-heartedly at home, there will likely come a time someone threatens their interest-based bubble. At some point, they may hear comments from their peers or even adults in their life that make them question or feel bad about their interest. You can carefully prepare your child for these social situations without shame attached. 

Instead of calling an interest weird or making them feel it needs to be hidden, work on building social skills that help them understand that there is a time and place for certain things. Different settings have different expectations, so while at home they may be able to list 50 dinosaurs in alphabetical order, doing so in class may not be conducive to learning. Special interests can sometimes be so exciting to talk about that it’s hard for a child to slow down or change the subject, so learning how to read social cues and take turns in a conversation is also a valuable tool. A classmate may genuinely be interested in how fast a Brachiosaurus could run, but be ready to tap out of the conversation when that fun fact has ventured into a play-by-play of their time on Earth. 

Explaining that others also have exciting things to share, and building skills that allow that recognition, can help your child connect with others while maintaining their interest without shame. 

Let Them Love What They Love

Special interests can be unpredictable. Sometimes they fade away over time, and sometimes they just strengthen. They may change direction, becoming lifelong hobbies or turning into careers. Whether they last a week or a lifetime, they matter in the moment. Something doesn’t have to be productive or lead to an accomplishment to have value. Happiness itself is the value. Without knowing where it may lead, just live in the moment and let them love what they love. 

Bloom Can Meet Them Where They Are

At Bloom Behavioral Healthcare, we believe strongly in a child staying true to themselves. Using individualized support through ABA methods, we can help your child develop communication, social skills, flexibility, self-advocacy, and confidence. Your child’s interests can be incorporated into these goals to encourage growth, or left alone when they are better kept as something your child simply enjoys. Every child is different, which is why goals are individualized and adjusted based on what works best for them. The goal isn’t to eliminate interests or qualities that make your child who they are, but to help them build meaningful skills while remaining true to themselves. 

If you are interested in how Bloom can help your child thrive as they are with compassionate ABA therapy, please contact us today.